Eighteen years ago today, we said "I do." I still remember that day like it was yesterday. It was a crazy day. A busy day. A day full of friends and family. The weather was perfect. Everything falling into place just as it should. The day flew by with all the things that needed to be done and before I knew it, they were playing my song. "Here Comes the Bride". And just like that...it all fell away. All the crowd, all the family, all the music. Suddenly there were only the two of us. Speaking the most important words of our lives. Taking vows before God and those that loved us (okay, now the crowd is back). It was a big moment. The moment that months and months of planning had led up to. I know that Chris and I would both be lying if we said we weren't relieved when it was all over and done with! Not that we didn't mean those words. We did. At least, to the extent that we could possibly even understand them at that young and tender point in our lives. Eighteen years later, I realize that we had NO CLUE what those words would come to mean. What challenges we would face together in our marriage and just how much work it would be to honor those vows. We could not begin to comprehend how deeply we would hurt one another, the ways we would betray one another, how much we would dislike each other at times. We had no idea of the journey ahead, how long and hard it would be and just what it would take to be successful in this union. Enter wisdom. It's amazing just how much wisdom one gains over the course of 18 years. Today was about celebrating these 18 years we've shared. And how wise we have become in the course of them. We didn't really celebrate, like most people. We took our family to church. Then came home and worked out together. I gave Chris the Insanity Workout for our anniversary. It's crazy hard...pushing you to limits you don't think you are capable of. So after church, we took the first Fit Test to see where we are. It was TOUGH. Chris initially balked when I told him the fit test was only 8 exercises long. As a consolation, I told him that after we took the fit test we could go ahead and do the first workout too if he wanted to. But, after the fit test...he was no longer balking. His butt was just as kicked as mine. The workout is INTENSE. After we made it through those 8 excruciating exercises, we took a nice little walk and took the doggies out for some exercise. It was nice to be together, just the two of us. And after that workout, I was appreciating simply breathing! After our walk, I showered and then headed off to grocery shop while Chris stayed home to catch up on some work. Once I returned with groceries, Clara and I cooked up some dinner and we all ate. After dinner, we caught up on some Survivor episodes. And then...we called it a day and have tucked ourselves into bed. It was NOT a glamorous day. Hmmm, I always tell myself that next year is going to be a more glamorous anniversary celebration. That's a bit of a drawback of being married the week before Christmas. The celebrating often times gets put on the back burner. Well...always. And I always say that next year we will celebrate BIG with the perfect gift, the perfect dinner, the perfect day. And while part of me says that...part of me is quick to acknowledge that we celebrate our marriage frequently. Monthly. Weekly. Daily. A solid marriage is nothing to take lightly or for granted in this day and age. So many marriages around us are failing. We've watched so many couples fall by the wayside. Honestly, every single day we are married is worth celebrating. Especially in this day and age. One of my friends here recently divorced. Well...several of my friends here recently divorced. But one is particularly heavy on my mind tonight. The whole thing has been so ugly for her. Heartbreaking, shocking, saddening, maddening. Even though they are thoroughly and finally divorced...it's obvious that their lives are still wound so tightly. They shared possessions. Possessions which they are still fighting over long after it's all said and done. They shared a home. Memories. They share a child. And I realized tonight, that once you say "I do"...it really and truly IS forever. Even if it doesn't actually last forever. Confused? Let me say it differently. Once you love someone enough to stand before the altar of God and pledge your lives to one another, to say "I do"...once you love someone THAT much...it changes you in such a way that you can never truly be seperated. Part of you will always remain behind with the other person. Like it or not. The good, the bad, and/or the ugly. Once you share SO much...you simply cannot ever take it all back. No matter how much you no longer love someone...once you HAVE loved them, then your lives entwine in such a way that you will be forever linked in some way. Wow...this is a depressing anniversary post, huh? It's just had me reflecting is all. I don't take 18 years for granted. I don't make light of the past 18 years. I'll be the first to tell you they have been a LOT of hard work. Serious blood, sweat and tears. But I wouldn't trade them for the world. I wouldn't have missed out on a moment of it. I had no idea what I was getting into on that brilliant, perfect Saturday 18 years ago. I had stars in my eyes and a dream in my heart. I wanted the fairy tale. And Christopher Roberts was promising it to me. I was caught up and captivated by the long white dress, the flowers, the cake, the music. I was living for the moment of my dreams...that moment where I would get to say "I do.", while wearing the princess dress of my dreams! Eighteen years later, I'm still caught up in the moment. I'm most definitely living the fairy tale. It's not always the rosy, twinkly part of the fairy tale. Sometimes it's the darker, more sinister part. At times I've felt like the princess in all the fairy tales since the beginning of time. Other times I've seen myself in the part of Cinderella, or the evil queen. I don't don the princess dress nowadays, but traded for a lovely pair of blue jeans (that happen to be a size or two bigger than my ideal "dream" size). But the point is (yes...I DO have one) we never gave up on our story. It's coming together nicely, being written one chapter at a time, one page at a time, one day at a time. Sometimes it's dark. Sometimes it's scary. Sometimes it's all magic and bippity boppity boo. Our story is getting some weight on it. There are many chapters now, a decently long read. As best I can tell, there is no end in sight. We are still writing. Still living. Still loving. Still celebrating the anniversary of each and every day that comes along. Anticipating the journey to come. Remembering the road we've traveled. It's no small thing. It's really quite special when you stop and think about it. We've endured one another for 18 years. Knocked each other down. Picked each other up. Helped each other grow stronger than we ever imagined we could ever be. I am blessed to have shared 18 years with this man. I am thankful for him. Even if he is currently exceeding his allotted half of the bed and hogging up all the covers. And snoring. Really, really loudly. Can't wait to spend the next 365 days celebrating our togetherness. The good days, the bad days, and all those other days. I'm so very thankful for the story of us!
